Desmond and the Very Mean Word

Name: Desmond and the Very Mean Word
Author: Desmond Tutu

A story that explores friendship and opens a conversation with your child.

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♥ This book teaches: Friendship. showing up for someone else.

Before, During & After Reading

Guiding Questions for Parents.

Definition: A friendship occurs when two or more people are able to experience respect, trust, and kindness in their relationship. In short: Build bonds that last forever. Summary: South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu shares a story about an incident in his childhood in which he learns about forgiveness. Desmond is enjoying a bike ride when he encounters a gang of white boys who call him a mean word. Desmond retaliates the next day by calling them names. When Desmond tells his mentor, Father Trevor, about what happened, he is encouraged to consider the consequences of hurting the feelings of others, even those who hurt you. Father Trevor says, “Everything we do matters…when we hurt someone, it hurts us, too.”Father Trevor explains that forgiveness is a way to heal your own heart when you have a conflict with someone else. Desmond is given an opportunity to put this into practice as he and the boy who called him a name have an experience of reconciliation. Lesson Objectives:

Students are more inclined to practice forgiveness instead of retaliation when they have conflicts with others.
This story can be a link to studies about South Africa and the anti-apartheid movement there.

Guiding Questions:

Find South Africa on a map. It is on which continent?
What incident angered Desmond in the beginning of the story?
How did he react to it?
What did he and Father Trevor talk about?
What does this mean to you?: “Everything we do matters…when we hurt someone, it hurts us, too.”
Desmond observed something painful that happened to the boy with the red hair. What was it and how did it make Desmond feel?
What did Desmond learn about forgiveness?
Have you ever forgiven someone? Was it hard to do?
If you forgave someone, were you still angry afterwards or did the anger go away?
People do things on purpose to hurt one another, but sometimes accidents happen and someone is hurt. Did you ever hurt someone accidentally? Did you apologize?

🌿 Virtue Connection: Friendship means showing up for someone else, consistently.

About the Story.

This guide is part of the Values & Virtues library, a free collection of 400+ book guides and activities organized around 12 core virtues for children from pre-K to 6th grade. Each guide includes Guiding Questions designed to open a real conversation with your child in 10 minutes or less.

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Friendship · Family Discussion Guide

Desmond and the Very Mean Word

by Desmond Tutu

Guiding Questions

Students are more inclined to practice forgiveness instead of retaliation when they have conflicts with others.
This story can be a link to studies about South Africa and the anti-apartheid movement there.

Guiding Questions:

Find South Africa on a map. It is on which continent?
What incident angered Desmond in the beginning of the story?
How did he react to it?
What did he and Father Trevor talk about?
What does this mean to you?: “Everything we do matters…when we hurt someone, it hurts us, too.”
Desmond observed something painful that happened to the boy with the red hair. What was it and how did it make Desmond feel?
What did Desmond learn about forgiveness?
Have you ever forgiven someone? Was it hard to do?
If you forgave someone, were you still angry afterwards or did the anger go away?
People do things on purpose to hurt one another, but sometimes accidents happen and someone is hurt. Did you ever hurt someone accidentally? Did you apologize?

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Desmond and the Very Mean Word

Guiding Questions for Parents.

About the Story.

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Desmond and the Very Mean Word

Guiding Questions